Sam’s Hangout #120 - “HYPER-INDEPENDENCE”

"Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string." - Ralph Waldo Emerson.


Hello, my lovely Hive Naija people. It’s another beautiful weekend, and we’re excited to have you here once again. A new weekend simply means another chance to buzz the Hive blockchain, connect with one another, and simply have fun. You'll also agree with me that there’s something special about bringing everyone together to gist, share opinions, and enjoy good vibes. That is exactly the reason we will continue to meet every weekend.

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OBJECTIVE

Sam's Hangout is focused on promoting the togetherness of the Nigerian brethren through active engagement on the blockchain. Beyond that, it is also centered towards the wellbeing of everyone who takes part in our weekend discussions and helps keep our discord running with their presence.

Note that this account was created to make the engagement more personal and official. You can check out the INTRODUCTION POST to learn more about our purpose and vision.

Please, do not forget to follow this account so you don’t miss out on future hangout posts and updates.



Our previous topic was ”PERCEPTIONS OF SUCCESS ACROSS GENDERS"

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The responses were super amazing and we had over 50+ comments filled with honest opinions, jokes, harmless banter, and fresh perspectives to learn from. The energy was truly contagious. Now, let’s see if we can beat our all-time high again this weekend, shall we? Please try to encourage responses by replying to one another. Remember, engagement is what makes this hangout special.

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HOW OUR WEEKEND HANGOUT WORKS

A topic will be dropped every Friday on this account. Do well to share your thoughts, respond to someone else’s opinion, and feel free to interrogate or add more context on it respectfully. If you don’t have anything new to add, simply reply to another comment in agreement. We encourage you to tag your friends to join the discussion so we can have a fuller house.

All interactions should happen in the comment section, because that’s where the real gist goes down.

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This week's hangout starts immediately this post goes live and ends on Sunday by 11:59 pm.


Remember to join our discord server to participate in our giveaways!

Prizes courtesy of: @sam.hangout

SPECIAL APPRECIATION

Thanks to our Main sponsors

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If you want to sponsor any weekend, please you can state it in the comments section or just DM samostically on discord. It will be highly appreciated

HYPER-INDEPENDENCE

Now to our discussion for this weekend! We will be discussing "HYPER-INDEPENDENCE”.
Being self-reliant is often seen as a sign of strength, maturity, and resilience towards an unpredictable life. However, when it gets to the extremes of hyper-independence where one becomes totally unwilling to ask for help or trust their loved ones to show up for them in times of need, it may begin to raise questions about a deeper problem. It could be rooted in past relationship patterns, childhood history or personal growth, all of which raises further concerns about when it should be termed unhealthy.

Here's the question!

Do you think being hyper-independent should always be seen as a strength, or you believe it's a trauma response and can sometimes become a barrier to receiving support and building healthy relationships with others? If you've experienced hyper-independence yourself, what do you think contributed to it, and how has it shaped or affected your life?

OR

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you struggled to ask for help, or depend on others, even when you genuinely needed support and knew you could have had it if only you asked? Do you in any way believe hyper-independence is your personality trait and not a response to past traumatic experiences or disappointment?

If you have a topic you would like us to discuss in our future hangouts, please feel free to suggest it to us in the comment section and tag @sam.hangout to it.


Okay Let's Gist!!!

Be as simple and sincere with the discussion, hehehe.

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Don't you think we are forgetting somebody?... Well, I'm sure we are...

FRIDAY PLANS, OWANBE SATURDAY, AND SUNDAY REFLECTIONS

To make our hangout more interactive, we have decided to add two events to spice it up.

On Saturdays, we share our owanbe stories, party gists, and even pictures.

On Sundays, we reflect on the weekend and things we learnt so far, as well as share plans for the new week.

Don't forget to join us!!

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There are no strict rules as regards this weekend hangout. Feel free to speak any Nigerian language you like, whether Igbo, Yoruba, pidgin, Efik, or others, as long as it can be understood.

Please, do not take it to the extreme.

With all that said, let the discussion begin...

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If you do not want to be tagged, kindly inform us in the comment section and if you would like to be added to the tag list so you don’t miss future hangouts, let us know as well.



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35 comments
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Hehehehe First to be here and cat walking sef 😅
Oya ooo you people should wake up from your sleep
@marsdave
@goldenproject
@chefqueen
@van.illa
@nkemakonam89
@soma1
@zali.bee

Network is not bringing una names o so manage it if I no tag your name wella 😀

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(Edited)

so u are even cat walking on top of my head 🤔🤔🤔🤔😀

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It's like I'm just waking up o because I didn't know there was hangout this week. Plus network issues.😭 Thank you for tagging people!

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See me always thinking na you be the poster

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Happy new week, Kenny!😂😂😂

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Should I answer now or come back later? Feeling sleepy 🤔

Anyways you people should not dirty the floor o as you step in cos some of una slippers don carry mud like that 😜

Use the buffet as you pleases but don't finish the food sha

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chai..this babe need some holiday cane oo😀🤩

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Ahhaaa cane keh.... This should not be my reward of knowing your name offhand 😂

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So the thing is that, some people do not actually count been hyper-independent as a problem. It's just their personal trait and policy.
They want to do things on their own and not basically because of their past traumatic experience with people either they've had one or not simply because they own to such title of being hyper-independent

I am independent person and I know how it feels actually sorting things by yourself, the whole stress, sole responsibility and honour that comes with it to actually solve your problems yourself but I can't claim to be the HYPER part because I seek for help at the point I feel like it is overwhelming or that I need support of which I don't think is bad of any other person to do if they are willing to.

I can say I had the trait right from time but I was able to build more on it to become firm because of how I've seen people mock others behind them simply because they seek for their help and support. So it took me time to know the right people to seek support from whenever I need one.

The times I feel like it's hard to ask for help is when I know that the circle of people I seek help from is actually not stable and facing their own issues as well, then it becomes an issue for me confiding in a new person whom I'm not sure is genuinely ready to listen.

Some will be thinking in their minds like that that I have trust issue 😀

@marsdave come and hold the mic o
@goldenproject and queen E @chefqueen should follow and @van.illa should round up

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Do you think being hyper-independent should always be seen as a strength, or you believe it's a trauma response and can sometimes become a barrier to receiving support and building healthy relationships with others? If you've experienced hyper-independence yourself, what do you think contributed to it, and how has it shaped or affected your life?

Answer
Hyper-independent isn't a strength. It's just a trait in an individual who doesn't find depending on others comfortable probably due to upbringing or some life personal experiences.

I've been there until I realized I can't make life all alone, sometimes I need people to survive. It started from my childhood programming, my grandma didn't like depending on people for things probably due to past disappointments and I learned from it. Growing up, I realized I've suffered in silence many times and it wasn't helping because people still depends on me- told myself I'm not god, and can't continue to act like one.

A balance is good, whatever is too much or too little has effect on the the long or short run.

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oh boy...the party is starting late this weekend
well, it's one of those days

let's get going.... @empressjay , it's been decade oo..
where art thou???????

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(Edited)

Happy weekend, Fams.
I've been battling with network issue for close to a week now. Soooo frustrating 🥺💔🥺

What a thought-provoking topic we have here
..
I'm in church ATM, coming back here very soon 😁

@goldenproject
@chefqueen
@van.illa
@yalloveme
@soma1
@zali.bee

Let's here from you guys 😉

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@marsdave I'm jxt coming back from church

please explain what this hangout is all about.i don't know anything

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Okay.
Happy Sunday to you.
@sam.hangout is a friendly community on hive. Here we connect, make friends, share ideas, have fun and also treat various topics every week. This week's topic is "Hyper-independence," as you can see. So, everyone is expected to express themselves, engage with each other, and drop their 2-50cent on the topic. Also, there's a discord channel where it is even more fun...

Do well to read through this week's hangout post for more info 🤞

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(Edited)

Hello, @yalloveme thank you for being curious. I'm sure a member of sam.hangout already gave you a brief.

To add to that, ensure to make quality posts of at least 200 words. That way, you can get some votes worth your time on Hive. You can check the posts of some of the people who engaged this post and the communities they post in to get an idea. Have a lovely day.

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It's situation and trauma that cause hyper independent,no one wishes not to having someone they can lean on,Anyone living a hyper independent life is definitely from a place of pain and survival.

I didn't plan to be strongly independent but I came from a family that everyone of us was struggling on our own to make ends means,so no one to call on or go meet. It wasn't my choice,life chooses for me oo because sometimes I just wish I have people to rely on and I don't have to be this independent of a thing,I do get overwhelmed with this whole independent thing sometimes.

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Queen, you've said it all! Anyone who thinks hyper-independence is not rooted in trauma or past experiences hasn’t really thought about it well. I really love how you explained it because truly, no single person wishes to have just themselves in critical times.?

So sorry about your childhood. Happy you’re at least doing so much to make ends meet. Hugs!🫂

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Independence is what we ought to see as a strength because it’s a testament to an individual’s commitment to become responsible for themselves. But hyper-independence? No! That is the extreme and should never be glorified like people do.

Besides, there’s no single hyper-dependent person who doesn’t have a back story. From poverty to being constantly dismissed by parents who had the means to being traumatized for simply asking for help from a guardian or blossom friend who cared less or being affected by their environment they grew up in and the stories they heard. It’s a long list. I hope we continue to recognize these patterns and make efforts to change them in the best possible way we can.

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