Robinson Crusoe - A Brutally Honest and Unfiltered Review

I'm back. Just because someone has to say something about Robinson Crusoe. It’s a classic, and I’m sure most of you have read it at some point. To be honest, I only bought this book because I was planning to get the board game (and there’s also a card game called Friday, a character from the book). The board game is supposedly challenging and punishing, but after reading the book, I’ve decided I’ll probably just stick to the mini-game or Friday, he’s honestly the only character I like.

I’ve been reading this book for weeks, and wow… I’ve never read anything so long, gruelling, and drenched in old English boredom. Anyway, thank God it’s over.

I know it does not make sense to call out ancient behaviour of your ancestors but I just can't help it lol. I also cannot fathom how people back then are so religious and yet lacking morals. So what’s the deal with Robinson Crusoe (spoilers ahead)? He wanted a seaman life adventure instead of what his father wants for him - “stable, secure future” I mean who wants that anyway? Along the way, he was captured and enslaved, escaped, established a prosperous farm in Brazil, and then his ship capsized, leaving him stranded on a remote island. He survived there for 20+ years, living off the island and whatever he salvaged from the ship.

Now, don’t get me wrong, survival stories usually excite me, but this one had cringe moments if I am being honest. I swear some of his DNA has lived on in people today (yes, Diabolika’s back lol). For example, he killed his cats because they were “pestering” him. What? The island was abundant! He could have just let them roam free, but no, he killed them wtf.

Present day, this is somewhat relatable to the practice of “putting down” pets because people underestimate their strength and intelligence. I come from the old world, animals roam wild and free. Sure, life is hard for them out there but they survive. They get food, they evade cars. They’re smart, resilient, and strong. Diablo used to be a strong, independent cat and roamed freely when we were living on an island. I swear the cats outside are fatter and have better furs. I think pets only get fragile when humans overprotect and isolate them… and their pets become like them too. These days people replace humans with animal companions. Then they put them down because they think that animals are just as stupid and weak lol.

Anyway, back to Friday - a native who came to the island ready to be killed by other locals. Robinson saved him for selfish reasons, to turn him into a slave. He taught Friday English and religion. Friday remained loyal and helpful yet Robinson still referred to him as “miserable wretch / savage / poor creature ” all throughout. Friday was strong, intelligent, and even questioned Robinson’s God - which Robinson couldn’t answer lol. Yet Crusoe’s narcissism convinced him he was far superior and so he just constantly looked down on Friday's primitivity.

Robinson doesn’t have much philosophical depth, just constant prayers and gratitude for “Providence,” mixed with endless whining about his “miserable condition.” So nothing highlight-worthy for me. It’s frustrating - he’s stranded on an abundant island with all the ship’s loot and yet complains constantly despite the great Providence and his privileges lol. Only towards the end of the book did it get more action-packed: he capsizes a ship, plays governor, manipulates men… but eventually, I guess he leaves with his “slaves” or goes home, it’s up to your imagination.

In the end, I see Crusoe’s behaviour as still alive in today’s modern world - entitled people getting ahead, manipulating others for selfish reasons, thinking they’re better than others, y'know, descendants of Robinson Crusoe, if you will. After finishing this, I promised myself no classics for a year - I need page-turning, exciting, entertaining books that don’t make me want to roll my eyes or question humanity’s dark history.

The games (No more games ! Lol) :

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^Amazon.com